Today is one of those days where I need this reminder.
I woke up at my usual time for Monday morning, 3:45 am. I felt good as I put my feet on the ground and got my day going. I had prepped for the day last night so that I didn't have to think too much this morning. Last night's prep included getting my breakfast made ahead of time (CrockPot Oatmeal) and my clothes laid out. I went to bed at a time that allowed me more than then usual 4 hours of sleep I have been getting on Sunday evenings.
I got to the gym and coached a great group that will always have my respect for being there at 5:30 am. I admire their dedication to getting and keeping themselves healthy and fit. I had some time between classes, so I decided to practice BodyFlow. As I started into the practice I could tell that something was a little bit off. As I continued through my tracks I felt myself struggling to get into the poses. Finally, after about 30 minutes, I heard my friend, Monika, in my head. She was asking me if I was breathing into the poses or fighting to get to each place. I started to breathe. Then I remembered something Tina says over and over in class: "just accept where you are today, in this space, wherever that may be." I continued to relax and let go of the expectation of achieving a certain pose a certain way. I finished practicing feeling tense and more than a little discouraged.
I coached the next class, which was also a great group, ran through some errands and headed home. I was feeling tired, frustrated and like I hadn't accomplished enough this morning. I decided I would either take my bike out for a ride or go for a run. Then, as I was trying to prep for either workout...I found that I just couldn't. I don't have it today. I'm tired. The ugly little voice in my head is telling me all sorts of nasty thoughts, but I'm ignoring those words. I can't help but wonder if that voice ever goes away or if I will just get better at ignoring it over time.
Today I'm going to take Tina's advice and just listen to what my body is telling me quite clearly, I need to slow down, at least for this moment. I'm going to rest for the remainder of the day and enjoy my afternoon and evening with my kids. I'm also going to remind myself that strength is built in rest and that allowing my mind and body to recover isn't being weak, it is giving myself the space to grow stronger. And add the reminder that growing stronger takes time.