Choices

"We have the power to create or destroy.  Which one we do depends on the choices we make."

Dr. Caroline VonFluegge-Chen

This morning I went in to Dr. Caroline's office to get adjusted and, as usual, we started talking about very deep, intellectual topics.  Every time I see her I walk away with something meaningful that turns over and over in my mind.  Today was no exception.

The quote above truly resonates with me on many levels.  First, I know there are some things in our lives we have no choice or control over.  For example, how our parents raised us, the weather, the person driving in front of us or the driver not paying attention that slams into our car.  What we DO have in those situations, though, is the choice of how to respond.

Here are some of my life situations: my mother died when I was 11, just two weeks before my 12th birthday.  I didn't have a blissful teenage experience.  I know, no one does, but mine contained more violence and exposure to drugs than a young person should have to witness.  I put myself through college and graduate school by working multiple jobs without the assistance of my parents.  My step-brother committed suicide.  All of these things together could make a person bitter. There are times, I am bitter.  For a fraction of a moment.  But then I make a choice to rise above and soar.  I didn't always make that choice.

You see, after my step-brother died, I let the anger and helplessness of his death overwhelm me.  I gave in to all the negative thoughts and feelings and let myself descend into a really dark place.  As a teacher, I was uninspired and unhappy.  As a mother and wife, I was completely detached.  I drank.  A lot.  I felt sorry for myself.  A lot.  Then, one day, I decided I hated everything about my life and how it was going, and I needed to do something about it.  

I chose to do things differently.  The next day, I talked with Mike about helping me make better food choices and that I needed to get rid of all the alcohol in the house.  He said he would support me and help me as he could.  He did and still does.  Then I started exercising.  The rest of the story that talks about the beginning of my fitness journey is here.

I chose to create something better rather than continue to destroy myself.  It isn't always easy.  There are times I am absolutely terrified of what I want to do and accomplish.  I choose, though, to continue on my own path and create my own way. 

The choices can be small.  They all add up to something huge, though, and each of us has the power to be amazing.